Intuition

Intuition is crazy.

Have you ever felt that you were making a decision against your better judgment? That maybe that voice in your head telling you to turn back NOW before its too late was more than just your fear talking?

As children, we listen to our intuition a bit more. We know when we don’t like someone. We feel our emotions more truly, and haven’t spent years figuring out ways to suppress them. Children will run the full gambit of emotions in a day and still come back to play the next day, and the day after that.

As we grow up, masking our true feelings becomes the goal. Finding ways to diminish or invalidate what we are sensing, we learn in young adulthood that being vulnerable is dangerous. Its how you get hurt, laughed at, or taken advantage of. If you make a decision that leaves you vulnerable, your sense of security vanishes.

I’ve made so many decisions in my life because it was practical. Or to prove a point. No matter what my gut was telling me. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel sick thinking about wasting this precious time I’ve been given in this life on just being practical. Not really living. Just existing.

If I continue on in this fashion, I’ll wake up one day, eighty years old, and look back at a life full of regrets and empty of growth and fulfillment.

That thought absolutely terrifies me.

In the book Eat Pray Love (trust me, I will probably reference this book often, as it has really made an impact on me), Katut is a medicine man who is teaching Elizabeth Gilbert Balinese meditation and guides her spiritually. In her first lesson with him, he asks her about her time in India, her meditation lessons there, and her yoga practice. He tells her, “Why they always look so serious in yoga? You make serious face like this, you scare away good energy. To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver…Too serious, you make you sick. You can call in good energy with a smile.”

I don’t want to be “too serious” any longer.

So I’m finally listening to my gut. And my heart. I’m going to explore what it means to be vulnerable. I’m going to smile. With my face. With my mind. And yes, even with my liver. I could use some good energy right about now.